ON THE EDGE: Mom's moment

The phrase ON THE EDGE alludes to the danger of falling over the edge of a precipice.

As I think of that phrase and watch my son who lives in a world of Autism, now bombarded with PANDAS D/O that has erupted his state of living…it can seem as though we are ON THE EDGE.

Yet, as I STAND ON THE EDGE and look out over the precipice I am reminded that my Lord covered that PIT. Our circumstances do not define us as individuals, parents, children…people.

I can remember years ago being pushed into the precipice, tripping into the precipice and jumping head first. Years later I looked up and found a HAND pulling me out and covering it up…and I have moments where I look back and am reminded of that day when it is staring me in the face. Psalm 18.

Today, as a family, we stand on the edge of a vast precipice where the enemy desires to use it’s “presence” to “swallow” us whole. Yet, as I look out over it…I see the horizon filled with warmth and hope…as the wind hits my tears and my son’s as we share a PANDAS moment. Joshua 1:9

Even though his medication is helping with the tics, his functioning, sensory and view of his world continues to be in a state of confusion, chaos and fear. I called Matt as Joshua got out of his seat belt at the school and ran to the back of the van crying that he was too afraid to go in. He held his hands over his ears and wept. Making the 40 minute drive back to Geneva, I dropped him off at the church with Matt and I shared that I would be calling about “in home instruction” for Joshua to finish out the school year.

I have no idea what the special ed director will say, and I am not going to worry about what he may or may not approve. At this moment, as Joshua finally sleeps, Matt watches the CAVS game and Faith rests from the day, I will stand on the edge of this precipice and soak in the warmth of my Lord who has a purpose for Joshua…even in the midst of this uncertainty I am certain of this. Jeremiah 29.